


Heartbreak, Love and Football

by darkghost



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: (apparently I make lot of things angsty lately), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Breaking Up & Making Up, Coming Out, Football player arthur, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Multi, but it has a happy ending I SWEAR, gwaine is my spirit animal, he is also not here for your bulshit arthur, morgana is awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 11:03:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8530540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkghost/pseuds/darkghost
Summary: They were 16 when they met, Arthur apologizing for hitting Merlin while playing football. They were 18 when they started dating. They were at Arthur’s room doing a movie marathon, as they usually did each month, this time the chosen has been Harry Potter, and they were together resting on the bed, when Arthur unconsciously leaned over and kissed Merlin briefly. They were 19 when Arthur, being one of the most promising young football stars, started playing in Manchester United team. They were 22 when one week that had started amazingly, went completely downhill and turned into hell.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys :)  
> A few side notes:  
> 1- after this ridiculous week i needed to write, so the end result was an angst mini fic, but also a hopeful one?  
> 2- even though arthur is a football player, there isn't much mention of it, it affects mainly the characters' actions  
> 3- i put arthur on my favourite english football club but the team doesn't make any difference. (again number 2)

They were 16 when they met, Arthur apologizing for hitting Merlin while playing football. They were 18 when they started dating. They were at Arthur’s room doing a movie marathon, as they usually did each month, this time the chosen has been Harry Potter, and they were together resting on the bed, when Arthur unconsciously leaned over and kissed Merlin briefly. They were 19 when Arthur, being one of the most promising young football stars, started playing in Manchester United team. They were 22 when one week that had started amazingly, went completely downhill and turned into hell.

 

“Hey mate, we are going to have beers at Percy’s house.” Gwaine informed, throwing an arm over his shoulder, “You in?”

“Can’t.” he replied, closing his locket, “Morgana is coming over to dinner with Leon.”

“Well, I’m carling Merlin then.” He said, taking out his phone.

“Hell no, Gwaine.” Exclaimed Arthur, “I’m not having dinner with that witch alone.”

“Aye aye captain.” He mocked salute, “I guess I will see your lovely best friend after the game on Saturday then.”, he added loudly, as Arthur bid goodbye his teammates. He left quickly, driving towards the city college, where Merlin was already, waiting on the desert parking lot for him.

“Hey prat.” Merlin said, smiling brightly, as he entered the car, and kissing him lightly on the cheek.

“Hey moron.” He replied back, starting the car again, “How was your exam?” he asked, as they entered their apartment, which resulted in a groan from Merlin, “That bad, huh?”

“Yes.” Merlin pouted, exaggeratedly, “Kiss it better.”

Arthur didn’t need more encouragement, attaching his lips to Merlin’s in a second, pushing him lightly, pinning him against the closed door, leaving his lips soon to give attention to the other’s neck. Merlin moaned, grabbing Arthur’s hair, pushing it slightly, while the blonde bit hard. Arthur was about to take Merlin’s shirt, when they were interrupted with the ring of a phone.

“ _Mer_ lin.” Complained Arthur, stepping away, as his boyfriend, laughed, grabbing his phone from the back pocket.

“Hey Morgs!” he replied warmly, both moving together to seat on their couch. Arthur’s head, rested against Merlin’s shoulder, as he played with the brunette’s free hand, “What? You think? Of course not. Very well. Arthur, take it.”

“Annoying sister. What can I do for you?” he greeted, accepting the phone on Merlin’s hand.

“Dear brother of mine” she answered sarcastically, “I’m sorry to interrupt your boning time with Merlin, but you have dinner to make.”

“I just got home Morgana.” Groaned Arthur.

“And if I didn’t call you, there would be no food when I got there.” She replied, “We will be there in an hour. I want chocolate cake.”

“I’m not…”

“Chocolate. Cake.” She said, emphasising each word before hanging up.

“Merlin, remember me exactly why we are having them here?” he asked, closing his eyes.

“Because I’m a great cook, obviously.” He replied, getting up.

“You are a terrible cook.” He snapped back, taking Merlin’s extended hand and rising from his place, heading towards the kitchen.

They worked together for the next hour, cooking in sync. It was a routine they were both familiar with after years of knowing each other and being together, they stole small kisses and hugs in between, talked about everything and nothing, after they had put the cake in the oven, they threw a bit of flour to each other when they were supposed to be cleaning, having fun and spending an amazing time together even in something as simple and domestic as cooking. They were finishing setting the table, cake already ready, kitchen cleaned and clothes changed, when they heard the bell.

“I will get it.” Merlin said, kissing Arthur briefly as he handed him the forks, soon returning with his sister and her husband, the three laughing.

“We have something to tell you.” Morgana said, with a small smile, after they had finished eating their dinner, the four now settled in the living room.

“She’s smiling Merlin!” Arthur said, faking terror, “The doom is near.”

“Just became nearer after that sentence.” She replied, smirking, “Anyway,” she said, grabbing Leon’s hand, “You are going to become uncles. I’m pregnant.”

“You are having a baby?” asked Arthur, still shocked.

“That’s what being pregnant means dear.” Answered Merlin with a smirk, “Congrats Morgs. Leon.” He added, getting up and hugging her and Leon. Before he could step away, Arthur was right behind him, squeezing the four in a tight hug, congratulating his sister, with a happy smile on his face.

“Have you told your parents?” Merlin asked, after.

“Not yet.” Leon answered, “We wanted to tell you guys first.”

“Yeah.” Morgana said smirking, “You are rich. You can start buying presents.” She finished, taking another bite in the cake that was on the small coffee table.

The rest of the week spent fast, both busy with their works, but the happiness from Morgana’s announcement still in their heads. When Saturday arrived, Merlin got ready to head out to the stadium, Arthur already having left, and in a sudden impulse, he grabbed something of his drawer and kept it on his inside jacket pocket, with a small smile. The game couldn’t have gone better, not only had they won, but Arthur had scored an amazing goal, and Merlin couldn’t help but smile proudly to himself as he waited in the car for his boyfriend.

“Hey there.” Arthur said softly with a small, but tired smile.

“Congrats.” Merlin answered, throwing himself to hug him, but Arthur pushed him away quickly before he could grab him, just as the back door opened and Lance and Elyan entered.

“Hey Merlin.” Lance greeted, which got him a small mutter from the man. The drive went quietly, Merlin was unusually silent and Arthur gave him small worried glances as he headed towards Gwaine’s house, in the outskirts of the city.

“Merlin.” Arthur started, stopping Merlin of leaving the car, with the hand on his arm, after the other two had, “I’m sorry. Are you alright?”

“Peachy.” He stated, before leaving to go gather with Arthur’s team. When Arthur entered the house, Merlin was seated at Gwaine’s side, whose arms were around his boyfriend’s shoulder, as he laughed at some joke. Arthur sat at Merlin’s other side, and the next couple hours went peacefully as they all had fun, talking and laughing together, resting after their game.

“Mate, Gwen says she can introduce you to one of her co-workers who is hot…” Gwaine started, bringing Arthur out of his daze, before being interrupted by Gwen’s glare, “I mean, who is an extremely kind and beautiful soul.” He finished.

“I don’t…”

“Really Arthur, you should have more serious relationships. You never have someone for too long. Maybe you should try.” Stated one of his new teammates, recently transferred, from his place at the table, where he was grabbing a soda.

“Miriam is amazing. You would have a great day. If you want?” she asked.

“I… Sure.” Arthur replied, with a fake smile, when he noticed everyone watching him curiously, “I will think about it and get back at you ok?” he added, avoiding Merlin’s hurt look.

 “Guys, I’m feeling a bit sick.” Started Merlin after being silence for a while, “I better get home.” He said, rising up, Arthur following his example, “You can stay Arthur. You and Gwen have details to prepare.”

“Nonsense Merlin.” He replied, “C’mon.” he said, pushing Merlin in front of him, who didn’t fight back and moved to the outside, both so lost in thought that they didn’t heard Gwaine’s curses.

The drive back home was filled with silence, but unlikely how they were used to, it was an awkward one, air heavy and thick with tension. Merlin looked blankly out of the window, as he clenched his fists in his laps tightly.

“Are you ever in going to tell you friends about us?” Merlin asked seriously, a fierce look on his face, when they entered.

“What? Merlin! We’ve talked about this. It’s not that…” Stated Arthur, startled.

“…simple.” The brunette complete, “So I’ve heard.” He added, darkly.

“You know in football…”

“I’m asking about your friends. Not football. Your bloody friends!!” Merlin exclaimed, “Am I supposed to be your little secret for the rest of your life?”

“You are not!!” Arthur said, stepping forward, trying to hold his boyfriend, but he stepped back, out of his reach, his eyes filled with hurt.

“But I am!!!” He answered back, “I have to lie to my friends at college about my boyfriend, I had to lie to yours, time and time again. We pretend and pretend. And I’m…” he started, voice failing slightly as he tried to gain strength for what he needed to say, tears in his eyes, “I’m done. I can’t keep this on.”

“Merlin.” The player whispered, stunned, eyes wide.

“No. Please don’t.” Merlin begged, “I love you. So much.” He said slowly, “But that’s not enough, I thought it was, but I want someone to share my life with, not this. I can’t lie anymore to be with you, I can’t keep hiding and feeling like I’m someone to be ashamed. I don’t deserve that, Arthur. I’m sorry.” He finished, taking a little velvet box out of his jacket and putting it in the blonde’s hand, before turning around at least and walking away, pausing slightly when he was grabbing the door’s handle, but doing it anyway.

Arthur could only stare, his heart breaking inside as he heard the door closing, he was shocked, staring blankly at the door, hoping that maybe Merlin would come back, maybe it was just a dream. But after five minutes of just standing still, he finally moved to their living room, almost tripping on the table, where he sat, gazing at the box on his hand emotionless. He opened it slowly, and watched the two silver rings resting there, when he took one of them out, analysing it, he saw the two different words engraved in small cursive, _prat & idiot, _that was when the tears finally began to fall.


	2. Chapter 2

The next two weeks passed in a blur, Arthur woke up, left to work, came back, slept, even though it was barely, and then repeated the process the next day. He was trapped in his own guilt and pain, the emptiness that Merlin had left in his life too big to be filled. His teammates looked at him worriedly, having stop trying to help when he yelled at them angrily a fifth time, his efficiency had decreased a lot, the restless nights making him too tired, which resulted in him playing the worst game in his entire career.

“I’ve had enough. Everyone out.” Came Gwaine’s frustrated loud voice, when Arthur dragged himself into the room once more and started putting on his gear. The players that were still there, left quickly at their friend’s voice, only Lance staying behind with him, and both walking to face Arthur, “What the hell…”

“Gwaine.” Said Lancelot, warningly.

“Fine. We do it your way. If it doesn’t work, I’m punching him. Maybe it will bring him back to his senses.” Complained the man.

“Arthur, we are worried with you.” Started Lance cautiously, seating in the bench, at his captain’s side, “What’s going on?”

“I’m fine.” He answered, through gritted teeth, putting on his boots.

“Oh for the love of balls!” muttered Gwaine under his breath, “We have waited two weeks, hoping you and Merlin would get your shit together. But this is getting ridiculous. What the hell happened with you two lovebirds?” When the man mentioned Merlin’s name, it provoked an instant reaction in Arthur, that looked up, eyes wide towards the man.

“Love..birds?” Arthur asked slowly, a panicked look in his face.

“We know you are a couple, Arthur.” Said Lance calmly, “Most of us have known for quite a while.”

“We are not…” he started.

“Oh c’mon Pendragon.” Exclaimed Gwaine, interrupting him, “There’s no point in denying. We were only waiting for you to feel comfortable in telling us.”

“We are not anymore. He broke up with me.” He repeated again, starting to laugh humourlessly, “Ironically, you guys not knowing because I didn’t tell you was one of the problems.”

“Arthur?” asked Lance, calmly, putting his arm around him, squeezing it.

“I messed up. I’ve been messing up for months.” He continued, voice sad, but also with hate towards himself, “And then I had to be a moron at your place. And he got tired, it was the last drop, so I lost him.”

“Have you talked with him?”

“No.” he replied, voice small, “I don’t want to pressure him. He is right to be mad, I should never had had him lie.”

“That’s good. But you need to go to your sister’s place and tell him how you feel. He will forgive you if you don’t plan on making the same mistakes.” Lance advised, “Gwen told me” he added, when he saw their questioning look, “He has been staying there.”

“Do you honestly think so?”

“Princess, do you know how we knew you guys were together?” asked Gwaine after being quite for so long, and at the curious look Arthur gave him, he kept on going, “You guys are disgustingly in love, and it’s as obvious as me being the hottest from the three.” He said bluntly, which made the blonde chuckled slightly, “That’s how we know you will get through it as long as you guys fight for each other.”

 “Right. Then I’m…” Arthur stated, a new determination taking over him, after having his friends not only accepting him, but also making him realize that he couldn’t give up on Merlin, “But… I don’t know what to do!!”

“I’m tempted to state the obvious and say to move your ass and fucking made up already. I’m tired of your moping. Especially when all you had to do to solve this mess was actually use your words.” Gwaine said, “But that will have to wait two hours. We have a practise to attend. And you better try, or I will be the one to tell your sister you actually have feelings.”

“Alright alright.” he said, “Let’s go then.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Merlin!!!” Arthur yelled, as he knocked on his sister door repeatedly, “C’mon. You know, I will knock the door down if needed.” He said, despair in his voice, after banging the door systematically with no answer.

“Arthur” she replied stoically when she opened the door, “He’s not here.” She added drily.

“Morgana, the door man told me.” He stated, which made the woman cursed under her breath, “Please Morgana! I need to speak with him.” He pleaded.

“You better make it right.” She muttered, opening the door wide and letting him in, “He’s in the guest room. You call me when you are done here.” She said as she grabbed her keys and left, closing the door loudly behind her.

“Morgs” Merlin started, coming from the hall when the blonde was about to move, “Than…” he stopped mid-sentence after realizing his friend wasn’t there, his eyes finding Arthur instead, “What do you want?” he asked darkly. Merlin was wearing his bottom pyjamas and one of Arthur’s shirt, his raven hair was a mess, he looked tired and restless, making the blonde feel guilty. Arthur didn’t look much better, leaving right after training, not bothering to have shower, only dressing a coat and jeans before driving right away to his sister house, his hair still damp, bags under his blue eyes.

“Just… hear me out.” he said, “I’m sorry, Merlin. I’m so so sorry.” He apologized, walking towards him, “I’m sorry that I hurt you, that I’ve made you do this all this time. I should have gone right after you. And I didn’t…” he continued, struggling for word, staring at Merlin’s blue eyes, “I love you okay? I always will.” He affirmed softly.

 “I know Arthur.” he exclaimed frustrated, “That was never the problem. I just asked you to stop lying to your teammates, to your friends, to mine, they wouldn’t care. It wasn’t fair to either of us to keep on pretending, Arthur.” he said, sadly.

“I know” he muttered, looking down, “Which is why I told them.”

“You what?” Merlin asked surprised, eyes wide, the corner of his mouth turning slightly upward in a small proud smile.

“Technically, most of them knew.” He explained, “but I told everyone officially before practised finished.”

“They knew?”

“Yeah. I had the same reaction.” He answered, with a tentatively smile, “You are right. They didn’t care. I don’t either. Not anymore, Merlin. That’s why…” he started, before hesitating, taking the other man’s hand in his, squeezing it tightly, “Please, give me another chance.” He added, caressing Merlin’s face, that leaned down to the touch, sighing slightly, “No more lies. I promise. I’m done hiding the best thing in my life.”

They were both staring at each other, letting Arthur’s promise fill the air, and when Merlin nodded, with a small happy smile, Arthur didn’t waste a minute, capturing the other man, wrapping his arms around him. Both held each other tightly, Merlin with his head buried in Arthur’s neck and arms around his waist, and Arthur patting Merlin’s head, giving it small kisses.

 “I’ve missed you” came Merlin’s muffled voice, after a while, still bury in Arthur’s shoulder, “I love you prat.”

“I love you too, idiot.” Laughed Arthur, pushing the man in his arm away gently, “Which is why I think we should wear this.” He added, putting his hand in his back pocket and taking out Merlin’s rings box, and opening it.

“No way. I want a proper proposal, Arthur.” Said Merlin, after recovering from the shock, a small smile on his lips, “What?! I’m making you grovel.” He added, laughing, when he noticed the blonde’s indignant face.

“Then…” Arthur started, kneeling in front of him, with an amused smiled, looking fondly, “Merlin, moron of my life, I’ve been in love with you since we were sixteen and you walked from one side of the park to the other towards the two bullies who were picking on Gwen, even though they were twice your size, and tried to stop them. Trying being the key word, you were lucky I followed you. I’ve fallen more in love with you every day, and I hope to keep on doing it for the rest of our lives. So… will you accept to be my husband?”

“Ugh. I guess someone has to make a favour to society and put up with you.” He replied sarcastically, before throwing himself to the man’s arm, making Arthur let go of the box and both falling to the ground, laughing. Merlin rose his head slightly, eyes full of love and warmth, and straddled Arthur properly, leaning down next to finally kiss the blonde after two terrible weeks apart, both finally feeling whole once more. The kiss was slow and deep, both savouring the moment and the familiarity of their movements, Merlin burying his fingers on Arthur’s soft hair, that responded by squeezing Merlin’s hip and biting down slowly the other lips’.

“I’m pretty sure Morgana will kill us if we have sex on her living room.” Whispered Arthur, when they broke apart to breathe, even though their heads were still close, breaths mingling.

“Hm.” Merlin nodded, chuckling slightly, giving the man another kiss on the lips, “You are probably right.” He added, giving another, “Let’s go to the guest room then.”


	3. Epilogue

“Arthur, are you sure you want to do this?” Merlin asked, from behind their camera, “You don’t have to.”

“I’m sure.” He smiled, nodding, from where he sat, near the window, with made his fiancée turn the camera on, “Hey guys.” Arthur greeted with a wave, “I have something I want to say.” He started, playing with his fingers, nervously, “You see, I’m gay. Have known since I was kid.” He continued, “And like many children I hid it, scared. The first time I admitted it out loud was to my best friend” he said, smiling warmly to the man staring with a grin to him, “And then I was courageous enough to tell my family. And even though it went great, I never came out to anyone else because football was my dream, and I thought I wouldn’t have a chance if everyone knew, which is why I’ve been pretending for years to be something I’m not. But we all get to a point we can’t anymore, right? I’ve let my fear control me for so long, but not anymore. To everyone watching this, and who feels the same, trust me, I know it’s hard, I know how scaring and dark it can be, but we owe it to ourselves to be who we are, to be honest, to have a chance to…be happy. We deserve that, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And I can’t do that by keeping on lying, even though I know probably many people won’t like it. My club, my teammates, my family and my fiancée support me, and as long as I have that, I will keep being one of the best players in the league and keep playing in Man United. Thank you.”

“I’m so proud of you.” Merlin said as soon as he finished, hugging him.

“C’mon. I have a video to post.” He said, both getting behind the computer, uploading the video on his facebook page, and no matter what would come, Arthur couldn’t help but smile as he held Merlin’s hand, fingers intertwined, feeling freer than he ever had.

  

 

 

~~~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr here:  
> http://skittlesandchocolatecupcake.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoy it :)  
> Thank you for reading <3


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